


Do I Even Want To Know?

by MoonAndShadows



Category: Batman - All Media Types, Gotham (TV)
Genre: Jealousy, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-27
Updated: 2019-07-27
Packaged: 2020-07-21 05:55:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,128
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19996948
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MoonAndShadows/pseuds/MoonAndShadows
Summary: This is a chapter to a fanfic about some boys busting out of Arkham, but I realized it worked as a stand alone and to be honest I just wanted to finish something. So if you want Ozzy breaking some boys out of Arkham and being in love with Jim Gordon here it is. Just minus most of the crack ships from the first chapters. Enjoy!





	Do I Even Want To Know?

Oswald finds his mind drifting back to the past as he makes the long drive back to the Van Dahl mansion. The large building has become sort of safe house for Oswald over the years. Some people know of its location but no one dares to trespass. 

The past haunts him in certain ways, the negative choices he's made. How he's hurt the ones he cares about the most. His past is like a ghost that gently pulls him into a warm embrace and slices his throat. It's a tender personal sort of attack. 

Take Jim Gordon, for instance: the police commissioner of Gotham, He's the last Person that Oswald ever wanted to hurt but it's very clear that he's done that. They spent the better part of these years making stabs at each other instead of getting to know one another. Oswald will take ownership of his part. He will, but damn did Jim take deep stabs and carve out flesh. He left Oswald bleed and with his insides exposed for the world to see. 

It all started on that peer, just a simple act of mercy. Oswald looked up to him at first but admiration shifted into interest, morphed into love and adoration. He looked at Jim with stars in his eyes. He let those stars crash to earth like comets and their flames become extinguished. Loving James Gordon felt like a warm fire in his soul, but accepting that he needed to let it go… that hurt more than being beat with a chair. It felt like his body being frozen over. 

Then there was Ed. Smart, sweet, crazy, and lovable….Ed. he was like a breath of warmth to his frozen core. He felt like he could love again. He felt happy and warm. That fire, it flickered! It sparked and a tiny flame started. His soul finally felt like itself again. He was alive and warm. Then he made mistakes, many of them. He carved this time. He took chunks of flesh out of Ed, he was willing to sacrifice Ed's happiness just to keep that pathetic tiny fire flickering. isn't that just sad?

He clutches the wheel at the thought. The mere thought of what he did for affection and love. How he killed innocent civilians for it. Oswald blinks and tries to focus on the road. He's still a while from home. Why must he live so far from Arkham? 

Maybe being around the Other man is just triggering these old memories. Maybe. Time passed after Loving Ed. He moved on, sort of… more so he just took steps backwards into something recognizable. A familiar and friendly blade that liked to take cuts out of him. Jim Gordon, it shouldn't have been so easy to fall back in love with him. Maybe he never stopped loving him. It's not impossible to love two people at once.

Oswald is shocked that eventually following everything Ed forgives him and stays his friend. It was a move he didn't expect. Not that it was an easy road to forgiveness. They tried to kill each other many times. Once they did get everything settled they had many talks about his secret feelings for Jim, Edward had some words to say on that. Namely that he didn't think it was all that recent. Oswald wouldn't give him the satisfaction to confirm or deny. 

Edward had many surprises up his sleeve. A more recent one was moving in with Zsasz without very much talk about it. They had apparently been hooking up for quite a while beforehand but that leaves Oswald to wonder exactly how long. They weren't a couple you would think of seeing on the street together or adopting a kid or even just getting married. They were strange. Too odd balls that seemed to click in a way that Oswald can't see. Doesn't really matter. He shrugs and focuses on the road. 

One of the best surprises in his life that came absolutely out of nowhere and from an otherwise shit situation: Martin. To be absolutely honest with himself, Oswald didn't expect to click with the child to deeply and instantly. It was probably seeing a smaller child being bullied that set off some sort of protective mother hen instinct in him. To guard this young boy, help him grow and blossom into someone maybe even more powerful than himself. A mute Gangster he remembers thinking at one point, what an idea that is. 

The world just had a way of surprising Oswald, he could never truly be sure the world had run out of them. After the reverse pier incident, Oswald didn't expect to see Jim again. Not in person at least, no more favors, no more bashing heads, no clean cut Detective taking cuts out of his very being….and that was ok. Oswald accepted it. He didn't move on, just came to terms. He also didn't have much of an emotional well being for Jim to cut apart anymore. That game of pushing each other to the brink had made Oswald quite exhausted.

What he didn't expect was one week on a particularly rainy Friday night, the recently appointed Commissioner of Gotham's police to walk into the Iceberg Lounge with Martin close behind him. Now, usually Oswald would've given Jim the smile and "Old Friend, what brings you here?" But his eyes had instantly moved to Martin who knew to go in through the back door of the club. 

He didn't have time to process or evaluate the situation. His knee doesn't feel in an eminence amount of pain and he thanks the slow day for achieving this feat of impulse. He picks up Martin, hiding his face against the fluff of his coat so his criminal clientele can't see him, then guides Jim to the back room with his free hand. Cane be damned. 

Apparently Martin pulled a knife on some kids that were bullying him. Judging by Martin's scuffed up clothes and bruised lip, Oswald thinks this was a good reaction. "Did they live?" Oswald asks Jim simply. Martin has already left to another one of the clubs back rooms to study and draw. 

"What?" Jim responds softly, a little confused but also a little taken aback by this situation. 

  
  
  


Oswald finds himself laughing in his car thinking about that moment in his club's office with the Commissioner. He basically told him he condones his son killing. How did this spark that flame? 

  
  
  


"Did the kids that were bullying my son live?" There was an edge to Oswald's voice, something protective, something alive that Jim couldn't place. 

"He didn't hurt them, just scared them a bit. I was more worried about him then them...that's why I walked him home." Jim says with an innocent smile playing at his expression. He's gotten a bit softer around the edges now with his own kid. He's still single though. Just a single parent too. 

"I wouldn't have let you do what you did to me to Martin….if he killed them, I'd protect him and even be proud." He's saying this to get rise out of Jim. To get him to yell. To push him against a wall. "Carve more out of my being!" he wants to scream because he doesn't want him to leave. 

"I know, Oswald." That soft smile never leaves Jim's face as he says it. "I never probably apologized for letting you take the fall and go to Arkham...sure, they would have sent you there for a lot but what but you away was a crime i did too…" 

Oswald is looking at him with this slightly glazed and baffled expression so that must be why he continues. "I know...after Blackgate and the pier you don't want to see my face. I get it. I'm sorry, honestly. I'll go." 

The soft chuckle that erupts from Oswald stops Jim from getting up. "Which pier? I have emotional baggage from both...but I'm sure you do too. As for Blackgate, James...I can't fault you for doing your job and being the honest Cop I know you are. You are the only good Cop in Gotham, Jim Gordon." A soft smile creeps onto his face.

  
  
  


Oswald finds himself tearing up as he pulls into the driveway. He's sure he'll get an earful for being out so late, and missing putting Martin and Barbara to bed. He'll simply say he was helping out some friends. Nygma couldn't last another ten years. Last ten rattled him quite a bit. Ten years at Blackgate left Oswald a lot Colder and a lot harder to handle. He steps out of the car to hear the front door of the mansion open.

  
  
  


That day, in the office of the Iceberg Lounge, a fire was ignited between them. It wasn't just Oswald and his burning soul. It wasn't just him just trying to contain all these emotions by himself like they could set him aflame any minute. No, Someone was watching and tending to the fire with him. There was some to hold him close and kiss all the fears away. 

  
  
  


Jim rushes out of the door. He looks like he just got off of running from a shift but doesn't care about that at all. He's freshly shaven as if he knew that Oswald would complain about it. He doesn't say anything as he scoops Oswald into his arms and just sighs. He holds him close and breathes in the scent. The scent of his husband, yes husband. Not publicly but legally. They didn't bother with last name changes or anything like that but a ring on each others fingers and paperwork to prove it. 

The security of Jim's embrace helps him feel the closure of today. He feels whole knowing his children are inside sleeping peacefully and that his husband is in his arms. "What would I have done if something happened? What would i have told Martin or even Barbra? You know how much she loves you now…" Jim says harshly but without any real bite. 

"Darling, you didn't even ask where I was...you came out here and held me like I was a life line...I know moving in together was a big step especially since you have Barbara and my job is risky in similar yet different way than yours...but you need to calm down." Oswald takes his hand and leads him inside. 

"Let's get you out of those work clothes and into something more comfortable. You tell me your day and I'll tell you mine?" They have an agreement on Oswalds side to leave out killing or any very major crime that Jim would feel inclined to report. It works.

"Do I even want to know?" Jim's voice is a reluctant whisper once they are in the master bedroom. Oswald sighs, so he knows and this counts as too big of a crime. 

"Jim, my love. Please, tell me about your day. I've missed you immensely…" Oswald is distracted with taking off the intricate layers of his suit to notice Jim standing close and watching. 

"Mostly slow, until late when we got a call. That was probably around the time you asked one of your trusted people to watch the kids." Jim's ways in a low tone, Oswald hums. Jim picked out and did background checks on the trusted ones. 

"Over one hundred escapees from Arkham, including Jervis Tetch, Jonathan crane, Jeremiah Valeska, Edward Nygma, Victor Zsasz….just to name the ones we are actually trying to get collected right away since they are very dangerous. One of them you might know the location of?" Jim says evenly while pushing Oswald up against the wall from behind. 

"I'm not giving up Ed, Jim!" Oswald gasps out between a soft moan at the feeling of Jim pressed up against him. 

"I know, I just thought I'd ask. It makes me jealous how much you care for him." He sighs, it feels nice to finally say it. He needed to let Oswald know that. 

Oswald squirms to get turned around and looks up at Jim. "I love you, Jim. I love you so much. But another ten years in Arkham will break him...there just so happened to be a power shutdown. I was in the neighborhood. I don't love him as anything more than a friend. You are my husband."

Jim leans down and kisses Oswald deeply. he delights in the slight taste of salt and honey on his lips. "Why do you always taste so nice?" 

"Jealousy makes you say the strangest things, Jim." Oswald says as he finds himself being bridal style carried to the bed. He's looking forward to whatever Jim has planned. 


End file.
